Tomorrow (:

Alright! Here it is. Last blog, before I leave and my mom takes over!

I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of the support that everyone has shown!
I'm amazed by all of it (:

Here are my addresses:

MTC Address

Sister Casidee Ann Brinkerhoff
Maryland Baltimore Mission
Provo Missionary Training Center
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604
United States

Mission Home Address, (use this when I'm out of the MTC, and until I have an address to give)

Sister Casidee Ann Brinkerhoff
Maryland Baltimore Mission
4785 Dorsey Hall Dr Ste 105
Ellicott City, MD 21042-7728
United States

See ya in 18!!

21 Days.

Wow.

Time is flying by so fast.
I swear just yesterday I just received my call!

21 days. In 21 days I will enter the MTC.
In 21 days, my life will change forever.
In 21 days, I will be starting the biggest decision
I have ever made.
In 21 days, I will be solely committed to my
Heavenly Father, and Savior.

Not gonna lie, I've been on an emotional
roller coaster ever since my call arrived.
That morning, I practically went into
hysterics from being so excited. I was late to work
because I had to collect myself before I went in.
That night was..I don't even know.
I was on cloud 9..scratch that..make it
Cloud 25. I was so high on emotions and excitement
and "oh my gosh, this is real life!".
It was funny..haha. When I opened my call,
and read that I would be serving in the
Maryland, Baltimore mission, it's like I had fallen
in love. Then I read that I would be reporting to the
MTC on January 29th...A month and 9 days away!?
I then became, suddenly, numb with panic.
After everyone left, my mom, dad, and I were reading
through my packet. My mom was naming off things that I
needed to buy, and pack, etc etc.
I had to tell her to stop, because everything was sinking in
and making me feel so overwhelmed.
I felt that way for about a week. Until Christmas Eve came.
My brother and I always sleep in the same room (my room,
cause duh..)
He had fallen asleep way before me, so I stayed up to watch
Les Mis (of course). Well, good crap, I didn't get any further
than Fantine's "I dreamed a dream" scene when I completely
started to melt down, and panic, hyperventilating like it was
nobody's business.
I of course, being the adult that I am, ran to my mom.
She and my dad assured me that it was all going to be alright.
That we have plenty of time.
And that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle.
And, that it was better for us, as a family.
We're 'wait till the last possible second' kind of family...
So with a short deadline, it kicked us into gear faster.

As soon as Christmas was over,
my mom and I hit the Wal-Mart floors.
I bought so much crap. So much.
But, hey, I needed it.
And lets be honest...it's fun to mass shop ;)
I felt a little better. I felt like we were just a little closer to being
done. Still had that deep panic feeling. No big deal.

Along the way, as this date kept inching closer, and closer,
I started to worry about how I would get along without my family
and friends. As a small town girl, I've never been past Arizona..and that's
Page Arizona, so it's not even that far!
Total states I've been to?
Utah.
California.
Barely Arizona.
and Barely Idaho.
And I'm going clear across the country to Baltimore?! WHAT?!
Oh man..I really started to flip out. Major. Epic. Not even pretty.
Well. My last day of work at Swig came. I held it together pretty well at work.
And let me tell you, it wasn't easy! I was lucky enough to have my
last day be with my friends (:
I wanted to bawl the whole time, but I'm not a public crier..and this is
a reputation I intend to uphold!
But alas, the drive home, which really is only a 15 minute drive, if that.
Here came the water works. It all started with a flippin Carrie Underwood
song..'My Temporary Home', which always gets me.
It was all down hill from there. Definitely not a cute crier...
I get home, trying to hide the red in my eyes,
of course, my mom being a mom, noticed...shammitt.

That same night, I was so freaking tired of crying all the time!
Of being a loose cannon..
So, derpa derp, I had the idea of praying about it. WHO WOULDA THUNK.
So, I prayed so hard that my tear ducts would dry up.
No such luck. K fine. I tried again.
I prayed so hard again, that I would have comfort, and strength.
BOOM. Problem solved.
How nice is that?
Prayer works. But ya know, being a derp, totally forgot.

Anyway, in a round about way, I just wanted to say that
I believe in prayer. It works beyond anything we can imagine.

When in doubt, PRAY.

For my fellow Sisters.

It's amazing how you can literally
feel the force and effort Satan
puts into you.
It makes everything so real.
From doubts to temptations,
he's working so hard.
But, the thing is,
So am I.
I've worked too hard,
and too long to give in,
to let him have reign over me.
Nuh uh, ain't gonna happen Satan!
Not me.

When you're feeling down,
or tempted,
or just down right horrible,
don't you let him control you.
Picture Christ's face.
Picture Him holding on to
you so tight to keep you
from Satan.
Picture Him telling you that you are
worth more than any sin, any doubt,
anything in this world that could
distract you from living His plan!

We are as the Army of Helaman.
As Sisters in Zion, we'll all stand together.

My call.

I will be serving in the Maryland, Baltimore mission.
English speaking
Leaving on January 29th!
I'm so excited. (:
This is going to be an amazing opportunity.

I am so thankful to have parents that have
raised me to be a missionary.
I am so thankful for my friends and family
who support me in everything I do.

My life, is great.

Here's to the next 5 weeks being super crazy, but super great.

Second one.

Unfortunately, I haven't received my Call, yet.
I'm waiting on pins and needles for it.
It's driving me crazy!
I just want to know where I'm going.

I'm stoked to serve,
but heart broken to leave.
Preparing for a mission,
you go through a mishmash of emotions.
I am so excited to serve my Lord!
But, I'm so sad to leave my family and friends.
But, I know it's worth it.
And it's not forever.
It's strange, really.
I think what's helping the most, is
thinking about seeing everyone for the first time again.
Meeting my family at the airport.
Seeing my friends.
HUGS ALL AROUND.
I know I'm going to grow so much.
It's hard to imagine how much,
I've grown so much in just the past year...
I can't even comprehend the experiences I am
going to have!

I want, whoever is reading this, (which is probably like 3 people haha)
to know how much I love this gospel.
It is the world to me.
I would be in such a dark place with it and my Saviour.
I stand all amazed at the love He has for us.
To die for us.
That...THAT is something I can not comprehend.
That much love.
He gave His life.
God, our Eternal and all powerful Father..
He gave His son...
He watched His child suffer.
I can't even...

I want to bare my testimony of missions.
I haven't even gotten my call yet, and I
know that it is one of the greatest things.
I want everyone to go.
I understand it's not for everyone..
but it could be.
The spirit you feel just preparing is so
beautifully strong..there's no words.

The Book of Mormon is true.
I am so grateful everyday, that
Joseph Smith sacrificed so much to
translate it and to restore the gospel.

I will never deny the truthfulness of this gospel.
I love it, and my Heavenly Father and Savior.

First one.

Well, ladies and gents..

It's my first post on my official missionary blog.

I just finished my papers yesterday, basically just waiting for a phone call at this point,
for an interview with the Stake President.

There are so many emotions associated with preparing for a mission.
Excitement.
Nervousness.
Unsurety.
Hopeful.
Doubtful.
Inadequacy.
And so much more.
Most are positive, of course!

It's crazy how you can literally, physically feel Satan trying his hardest to
distract you, or make you feel like you can't do this, like you're worthless.
It's strange.
It only makes me appreciate my Savior even more than I already do.

Just preparing for a mission is amazing.
I don't even have my call yet, and I want everyone to go on a mission.
Because I know how it can help everyone grow so much.
How it can enrich your life.
In so many different ways.

I am so ready to get out there and start sharing this wonderful gospel.
Don't get me wrong, I know there are going to be a lot of hard times.
I'm going to miss my family and friends like crazy.
But, I know I'm strong enough to get through it.
And even when I don't feel very strong, He is strong enough for the both of us.

I'll end this post with my testimony...

I know, without a doubt, that this church is the absolute, one and only, true church.
I love this gospel.
I love what it has done for my life, and what it has done for so many people.
I am so eternally grateful that Christ died for me.
My head can not wrap around the amount of love He must have for me..
Joseph Smith was, and is, a true Prophet of God.
I know he saw our Heavenly Father, and His son Jesus Christ.
I know he translated the Book of Mormon.
I have such a testimony of the Book of Mormon.
It's not always the easiest to read..but I love it.
It has changed my life, for the better.

I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Thanks y'all.