21 Days.

Wow.

Time is flying by so fast.
I swear just yesterday I just received my call!

21 days. In 21 days I will enter the MTC.
In 21 days, my life will change forever.
In 21 days, I will be starting the biggest decision
I have ever made.
In 21 days, I will be solely committed to my
Heavenly Father, and Savior.

Not gonna lie, I've been on an emotional
roller coaster ever since my call arrived.
That morning, I practically went into
hysterics from being so excited. I was late to work
because I had to collect myself before I went in.
That night was..I don't even know.
I was on cloud 9..scratch that..make it
Cloud 25. I was so high on emotions and excitement
and "oh my gosh, this is real life!".
It was funny..haha. When I opened my call,
and read that I would be serving in the
Maryland, Baltimore mission, it's like I had fallen
in love. Then I read that I would be reporting to the
MTC on January 29th...A month and 9 days away!?
I then became, suddenly, numb with panic.
After everyone left, my mom, dad, and I were reading
through my packet. My mom was naming off things that I
needed to buy, and pack, etc etc.
I had to tell her to stop, because everything was sinking in
and making me feel so overwhelmed.
I felt that way for about a week. Until Christmas Eve came.
My brother and I always sleep in the same room (my room,
cause duh..)
He had fallen asleep way before me, so I stayed up to watch
Les Mis (of course). Well, good crap, I didn't get any further
than Fantine's "I dreamed a dream" scene when I completely
started to melt down, and panic, hyperventilating like it was
nobody's business.
I of course, being the adult that I am, ran to my mom.
She and my dad assured me that it was all going to be alright.
That we have plenty of time.
And that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle.
And, that it was better for us, as a family.
We're 'wait till the last possible second' kind of family...
So with a short deadline, it kicked us into gear faster.

As soon as Christmas was over,
my mom and I hit the Wal-Mart floors.
I bought so much crap. So much.
But, hey, I needed it.
And lets be honest...it's fun to mass shop ;)
I felt a little better. I felt like we were just a little closer to being
done. Still had that deep panic feeling. No big deal.

Along the way, as this date kept inching closer, and closer,
I started to worry about how I would get along without my family
and friends. As a small town girl, I've never been past Arizona..and that's
Page Arizona, so it's not even that far!
Total states I've been to?
Utah.
California.
Barely Arizona.
and Barely Idaho.
And I'm going clear across the country to Baltimore?! WHAT?!
Oh man..I really started to flip out. Major. Epic. Not even pretty.
Well. My last day of work at Swig came. I held it together pretty well at work.
And let me tell you, it wasn't easy! I was lucky enough to have my
last day be with my friends (:
I wanted to bawl the whole time, but I'm not a public crier..and this is
a reputation I intend to uphold!
But alas, the drive home, which really is only a 15 minute drive, if that.
Here came the water works. It all started with a flippin Carrie Underwood
song..'My Temporary Home', which always gets me.
It was all down hill from there. Definitely not a cute crier...
I get home, trying to hide the red in my eyes,
of course, my mom being a mom, noticed...shammitt.

That same night, I was so freaking tired of crying all the time!
Of being a loose cannon..
So, derpa derp, I had the idea of praying about it. WHO WOULDA THUNK.
So, I prayed so hard that my tear ducts would dry up.
No such luck. K fine. I tried again.
I prayed so hard again, that I would have comfort, and strength.
BOOM. Problem solved.
How nice is that?
Prayer works. But ya know, being a derp, totally forgot.

Anyway, in a round about way, I just wanted to say that
I believe in prayer. It works beyond anything we can imagine.

When in doubt, PRAY.